I can hear it, the jet engine

through the center of the storm

and I'm thinking

I'd prefer not to be rescued

Blame Chloe - she got me addicted to Jack's Mannequin, especially "Rescued". Reminds me of a long-forgotten story that never had an ending. Chloe and Danielle understand.

Yesterday was the awards ceremony. I got two awards - one for getting third place in the SET Tournament (I fail) and the other for 'participating' in United Nations (I was sick the days of competition). Afterwards, my dad stood there in the crowd of kids, looked at me, and said, "They kicked your ass."

I don't really remember yesterday, except that I finished The Outsiders. It's... amazing how powerful a thin novel like that can be. People separate themselves into groups, and that's human nature; it'll never change, and it'll be passed down through generations, but regardless of what group you're in, everyone is human. Like Cherry Valance says, "things are hard all 'round." Despite this, resentment grows just as naturally as the individuals form themselves into opposing sides. Violence and hate blossoms. But there's no point. Then again, circles never end and circles never have a point. And it's all just one big circle.

I'm still waiting for it to hit me that everything is changing and ending. I just don't know what to think anymore. In review, a few of the things I gained out of seventh grade were a harsher outlook on life, a more brutal temper, and a fear of settling. A fear of settling on anything; I'm afraid of getting in a relationship with any of my friends because I can't see it lasting. I'm afraid that if I did get into a relationship, it would end so soon I could barely blink, or that it would be unhappy. It's less about the actual relationship and more about what it might do to the friendship.

Today was almost normal. It didn't seem like the last full day of school. I find it hard to believe that it was, even though I know it's undeniable. I'm going to cry tomorrow. That's as undeniable a fact as that today was the last full day. I always cry on the last day of school.

At least I'll have a busy summer.

Also, in response to Levi's comments about apartments on his blog, I plan on saving up money throughout eighth grade and high school so that I can have my own apartment by age seventeen. I also plan on finishing the comic book, which is on hold because Chloe has been working on her art profile and Lor has been hanging out with her boyfriend and Melissa has been doing whatever Melissa does and Gemma has been being Canadian (and because I've been spending more time using my blog or hanging out with Angela or Levi and because my tablet pen is lost and my laptop died for good and I do a large part of the work on the comic and by God I need to whip the team into shape or it'll never get done and they better damn well get ready because I am so about to get on their asses about work; they're the ones who agreed to do the comic). ANYWHO I also plan on dying my hair dark purple the day after I graduate from high school. rebelllllion