A real-life script of how

mistakes became our medicine, so

delay the hurtful words of complicated overcast

Please take the message that I'm picking up my chin at last

I said my confidence, it gets stronger when you're next to me

["Everlasting Friend" - Blue October]

I recently fell in love with Rob Thomas's "Her Diamonds" (if Levi hadn't asked me if that was the song, I probably would have never remembered to Google it) and Suzanne Vega's "Tom's Diner". Seriously, you guys, they're both awesome songs. (I need to stop shamelessly advertising music.)

I need to watch The Invisible Circus again. I love that movie. (Actually, now that I think about it, I shouldn't. :/) No, I think what I do need to watch is something that'll knock some sensibility into me.

Friday, Levi, Trevor, and I went to the mall. I was nervous and I didn't really have anything to say, so I was quiet practically the entire time, but I did have fun. I realized that I need to loosen up. I'm a goof with Angela but it doesn't matter if I look stupid in front of her (no offense meant, Angela - it's just that you've seen me at my stupidest anyway).

Saturday, I went to the fairgrounds to see the Bullet Proof Marshmallows. I thought we'd missed them, so I just sat down and listened to some other band doing covers (now that I think about it, I should have danced to "Shook Me All Night Long" because God knows I've danced to it at school :D). Hayden Smith ended up running up and hugging me, which was hilarious because she used to think I was a weird kid in elementary school.

My dad and I walked around looking for a place to get a drink for a while when Laurel called out to me. I swear, just hearing her say "Hey, Rhianne!" in that horrible, mocking little voice that I'd recognize anywhere nearly set me off. Just thinking about it makes me want to pick up my glass and throw it against the wall. I gave her a look with murder in it and tried to make a getaway but my dad stopped and said hi. :l I just texted Levi and ignored her while we stood there but man oh man I'd have loved to tell her right then and there what the fuck I thought of her. My rant would have included the phrases "slut-in-the-making", "you'd stab anyone in the back if you thought it would make it more entertaining for yourself", and "you preach about what you don't really believe in so you'll be pitied more as a poor God-fearing girl who simply made a little mistake, forgive the dear thing". The last would probably be followed by "Bullshit!" I don't pity her one fucking bit. I'm sorry for the rant and the language, but she ruined me. No one really gets how what she did was so bad and that's because she tells everyone lies and makes herself appear to be the victim, which just makes it all the worse because no one believes me. They all think she's such a nice, funny person. They have no clue. I have to admit, part of it was my fault. I'm a weak person when someone who makes me strong starts tearing me down. I just take it until I can't take it anymore. I just give myself to people too easily.

BUT IT WASN'T ALL BAD, YOU KNOW. Saturday, I mean. Even though I ran into Laurel and saw Lynette and (I think) Shelby. BPM actually played as the last band - when I heard the music I knew who it was and literally broke into a run to get to the stage. I didn't think they were going to play Murder in the Dancehall BUT THEY DID. It was their last song. Oh, and I got boiled peanuts. I stole them from my dad while we were watching fireworks.

And today, Levi and I went to the mall. After we ran into my cousin Jessica and her friend Meg, we hid out in Dillard's - forsaking the normal path for the escalators and elevator. xD Levi basically covered it in his blog post. I'd probably go on a rant about running into them but I've already ranted enough.