When the sun found the moon

she was drinking tea in a garden

under the green umbrella trees

in the middle of summer

["When the Day Met the Night" - Panic! at the Disco]

Because of Levi's July 17th blog post, I remembered that my blog turned a year old this month, even though I've only really been using it for the past three months. Happy birthday, blog~ I guess. xD

So, we went to the mall again today. Briggs was there, so Levi was freaking out. It's understandable, I become paranoid when I see Laurel. We sat on the bench outside the elevator in Dillard's for a while and had a shoe war. It's official: Levi has ESP. :P Anytime he would say something, what he said would happen.

He made me another CD, and it's awesome. I actually heard most of the songs before, but now they have a whole new meaning. :o I can't stop listening to it. In one night my CD player went from having a full battery to nearly dying.

I was going to pick up a CD he's been wanting by the Killers, but we didn't have enough time on the way there to stop by Wal-Mart. I'd already written a letter, though, that I'd planned to hide in the CD case. Obviously, that plan was out, so I just gave him the letter. xD

Caroline and Wyatt have been having more drama again. I'm completely and shamelessly on Wyatt's side. As I've said before, Caroline is just being an immature bitch. She hates Mayra, Grant, and me now because we're supporting Wyatt. I'm not surprised; she only used me before, anyway. She wasn't an actual friend. The only thing I'm worried about is I realized that too late, and I confided in her some things. If she's angry enough, she may start telling people.

Oh, and Wyatt's moving. He asked me to hang out before he actually moves, so we may be going to the mall sometime this week. It's been seven months since the last time we talked in-person, I just realized that. Damn. That's more than half a year. :o

That reminds me. I saw Lauren the other day... I hugged her, and said hi. It'd be nice to hang out with her, but I don't have her number. She has mine, but has never called it.

I've been having trouble breathing lately. D: I don't have asthma, but sometimes I just find it hard to breathe. Today at the mall I felt sort of dizzy because I couldn't breathe that well.

[rant] Oh. And Mitch is being all suicidal again. I hate it. Not because I care about him, but because it means he IMs me and whines. I almost want to just take him by the shoulders and shake him and yell, "STFU NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR LITTLE CRY FOR ATTENTION. EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO GET PITY AND SYMPATHY. TRY HAVING A CALM, NONDRAMATIC CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE FOR ONCE AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE PEOPLE WILL WANT TO TALK TO YOU. BEING EMO AND SAYING YOU'RE GOING INSANE AND THAT YOU'RE A VAMPIRE AND THAT YOU'RE THE PROPHET FOR THE END OF THE WORLD ISN'T CUTE." Sorry for the Caps Abuse, but it pisses me off. I don't feel sorry for him at all, though. He's just being immature and fake and overdramatic. [/rant]

I hate that I can't say that without sounding like a bitch. What's worse, is there was an entire second paragraph to it filled with more Caps Lock but I deleted it.

BUT. That's out of my system. :D

Besides that, I'm in a good mood. So... yeah. I'm probably going to sign off Myspace so no one ruins it.

To days of inspiration

Playing hookey, making something out of nothing

The need to express - to communicate

To going against the grain

Going insane

Going mad

["La Vie Boheme (A)" - Cast of RENT (Soundtrack)]

I lovelovelove RENT. Especially La Vie Boheme. "The opposite of war isn't peace - it's creation!"

I am so tired, even though I woke up at two PM. I'm falling asleep at my desk.

a;sjdflkasdf;jksadhfl;jhsa;dfk

I just got back from the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Holy effing hell that was a long-ass movie. We had to get there an hour early to get seats. And you know what? I lost my ticket. Damn. I like collecting tickets. I still have my Drag Me to Hell ticket. If I can find it... after I cleaned out my purse, a lot of my stuff went "poof!"

Oh, hell. Now I'm remembering a scene from the movie. Oh, man... xD

It was pretty awesome, even though it pissed me off that they left so much out of it. But like Heather and (I think?) Diana said, it's just better to look at the movie as a separate work.

Besides the numerous witches and wizards and Harry Potter lookalikes running amoc, there was also a Bruno impersonator and a guy in a chicken costume. It. Was. Epic. (They were in the theater... not in the movie. I'd have died if there were a guy in a chick costume at Hogwarts. Or Bruno. Especially Bruno. ... Bruno.)

Oh. And. Laurel was there. Yeah. We saw each other but we didn't say anything. She just sort of... smirked and I glared. I tend to glare a lot. Especially at three in the morning. Seriously, you don't fuck with someone who has to pee at three thirty in the effing morning, especially when they're pissed off over the lack of info in the movie and the fact that their mom texted them during the depressingest scene and therefore ruined it for them. Mhm. Laurel had me so paranoid that I was literally shaking, though. Ugh. Only two people can make me panic like that and their names start with 'L'. Although, not neccessarily for the same reasons.

Yeah, I can be sort of retarded at four AM. I probably misspelled something or said something I shouldn't've.

I just realized that Lavendar Brown's name consists of two colors... mhm. Lavender Brown. Not Lavendar. Too lazy to fix it.

I think I'll go to sleep, mkay?

"Oh what the hell," she says, "I just can't win for losing,"

and she lays back down.

Man, there's so many times I don't know what I'm doing

like I don't know now.

["Her Diamonds" - Rob Thomas]

Sometimes I feel like the girl in the song, and sometimes I feel like the singer. Depends on what day of the week it is.

I have no clue what I'm doing. I actually don't mind, really, because no one really knows what they're doing. I do wish I had a sliver of an idea, though. I'm just going by what feels right and what makes me happy.

I realized recently that the little choices you make in life can open up a whole new world to you. It makes me want to take more risks. Why not?

Lessee. Saturday, Ange and I went to go see Transformers 2. It was pretty damn awesome, let me tell you. I was surprised they mentioned Obama and swine flu, but that just made it cooler because most movies don't include current events.

After I got home, I watched Eagle Eye, so I think I got my daily dose of Shia LaPoof.

And today / yesterday / July 12th was the tenth Sunday. I swear, the guy at the pretzel place might as well just go ahead and ring up a small soft drink as soon as he sees us. It's usually the same guy everytime, so you'd think he'd know what we order by now. (I need to learn how to push the ice dispenser thing DOWN instead of up or in. I still screw up. It's been ten weeks. What the hell.)

It'd be nice if I could figure out how to talk. I don't mind being quiet because I just like to be there with Levi, but I know he likes conversation. I realized it isn't because I'm nervous, it's because I just don't have anything to say. I ran out of words a long time ago. :P But I'm working on it.

It's not the end of the world

In fact it's not even the end of the summer

But thank God the TV is on

'Cos there's no way we could know

Anything that's goin' down

Or how we're supposed to be feeling about it

I can't tell you how much I wish we could shut up and smile, yeah

["Shut Up and Smile" - Bowling For Soup]

"All we need is some ice cream and a hug!" How true, how true. :D

DUDE. YOU GUYS - EVERYONE - YOU NEED TO READ WHITE NOISE. It's a scifi webcomic. Like, go read it, now. There are only six chapters up right now, but it's started updating weekly. :D I have to say, my favorite page is this one. (No spoilers - don't worry.) I would undoubtedly be that one poor person in the audience. Half-naked dancers make me blush, anyday. Actually, half-naked ANYONE makes me uncomfortable. -pokes the D in PE she got-

I'm going through Poptart withdrawal. D: -flails- I need the tartiness. I'm losing mah intelligence.

A real-life script of how

mistakes became our medicine, so

delay the hurtful words of complicated overcast

Please take the message that I'm picking up my chin at last

I said my confidence, it gets stronger when you're next to me

["Everlasting Friend" - Blue October]

I recently fell in love with Rob Thomas's "Her Diamonds" (if Levi hadn't asked me if that was the song, I probably would have never remembered to Google it) and Suzanne Vega's "Tom's Diner". Seriously, you guys, they're both awesome songs. (I need to stop shamelessly advertising music.)

I need to watch The Invisible Circus again. I love that movie. (Actually, now that I think about it, I shouldn't. :/) No, I think what I do need to watch is something that'll knock some sensibility into me.

Friday, Levi, Trevor, and I went to the mall. I was nervous and I didn't really have anything to say, so I was quiet practically the entire time, but I did have fun. I realized that I need to loosen up. I'm a goof with Angela but it doesn't matter if I look stupid in front of her (no offense meant, Angela - it's just that you've seen me at my stupidest anyway).

Saturday, I went to the fairgrounds to see the Bullet Proof Marshmallows. I thought we'd missed them, so I just sat down and listened to some other band doing covers (now that I think about it, I should have danced to "Shook Me All Night Long" because God knows I've danced to it at school :D). Hayden Smith ended up running up and hugging me, which was hilarious because she used to think I was a weird kid in elementary school.

My dad and I walked around looking for a place to get a drink for a while when Laurel called out to me. I swear, just hearing her say "Hey, Rhianne!" in that horrible, mocking little voice that I'd recognize anywhere nearly set me off. Just thinking about it makes me want to pick up my glass and throw it against the wall. I gave her a look with murder in it and tried to make a getaway but my dad stopped and said hi. :l I just texted Levi and ignored her while we stood there but man oh man I'd have loved to tell her right then and there what the fuck I thought of her. My rant would have included the phrases "slut-in-the-making", "you'd stab anyone in the back if you thought it would make it more entertaining for yourself", and "you preach about what you don't really believe in so you'll be pitied more as a poor God-fearing girl who simply made a little mistake, forgive the dear thing". The last would probably be followed by "Bullshit!" I don't pity her one fucking bit. I'm sorry for the rant and the language, but she ruined me. No one really gets how what she did was so bad and that's because she tells everyone lies and makes herself appear to be the victim, which just makes it all the worse because no one believes me. They all think she's such a nice, funny person. They have no clue. I have to admit, part of it was my fault. I'm a weak person when someone who makes me strong starts tearing me down. I just take it until I can't take it anymore. I just give myself to people too easily.

BUT IT WASN'T ALL BAD, YOU KNOW. Saturday, I mean. Even though I ran into Laurel and saw Lynette and (I think) Shelby. BPM actually played as the last band - when I heard the music I knew who it was and literally broke into a run to get to the stage. I didn't think they were going to play Murder in the Dancehall BUT THEY DID. It was their last song. Oh, and I got boiled peanuts. I stole them from my dad while we were watching fireworks.

And today, Levi and I went to the mall. After we ran into my cousin Jessica and her friend Meg, we hid out in Dillard's - forsaking the normal path for the escalators and elevator. xD Levi basically covered it in his blog post. I'd probably go on a rant about running into them but I've already ranted enough.

There's murder, murder, on the dancehall floor!

There's blood, blood, on the dancehall walls!

There's gunshots, gunshots, going right through your skin

["Murder in the Dancehall" - Bullet-Proof Marshmallows]

Honestly, I can't understand the rest of the song but IT'S A FUCKING GOOD SONG. :D SERIOUSLY. GO LISTEN. The Bullet-Proof Marshmallows are epic. I am SO going to see them live again this Saturday. I saw them last year and met the drummer (I was afterwards horrified at the fact that I stammer when talking to shirtless guys). My three favorite songs that they performed were "Murder in the Dancehall", "Make Ya Move", and "My Love". I don't usually like reggae, but they're just too cool.

I seriously need to get some real news. :l I think I'll start looking into more Alabama indie bands. Hadji and the Turbans and the Bullet-Proof Marshmallows have absolutely PROVED that Alabama has some epic musicians. I might ask Wyatt, 'cos he's seriously into the local music scene. (Seriously.)

I discovered I have a fascination with dancing with my fingers. When listening to music, I usually start tapping my fingers to go with the song and it substitutes for actually DANCING. Because no one wants to see me randomly jump up and started dancing to a song on the radio. I'm being serious. YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT. xD (I have recently become embarrassed by the way I dance. It's fun in the moment but afterwards it's horrifyingly humiliating.)

Oh. Yeah. My cousin got her belly-button pierced. Honestly, I can't see myself getting more than ear piercings anytime soon. Well, actually, I wouldn't mind having a lip piercing, but my parents would never let that happen. Speaking of appearance-modifying, I decided I don't really want to dye my hair now. I'm fine with it the way it is. If my mom makes me dye it, though, I'll just dye it back my natural color (even though it makes me look paler). Oh, and I was considering getting contacts, because glasses are dorky unless you're some kind of hot blonde scientist (which I am not), but at the same time I think I look weird when I have my glasses off. If I do get contacts, then instead of getting colored ones like I originally planned, I'll probably just get plain ones.

Yeah. I don't really have much else to say, so I'll just post my answers to the second part of the music questionnaire Levi posted. :D

Will you get far in life?
[Andy, You're A Star / The Killers] "Andy, you're a star / in nobody's eyes but mine". I don't think so. o0

Will you get married?
[Maneater / Nelly Furtado] Apparently not. But I WOULD have a nutritional snack. :D

What is your best friend's theme song?
[I Hate Everything About You / Three Days Grace] D: I resent that.

What was high school like?
[Iron Man / Black Sabbath] Butbutbut. I'm not even close to high school.

How can you get ahead in life?
[Love in an Elevator / Aerosmith] LOL 'nough said.

What is the best thing about your friends?
[I'm Not Dead / Pink] They're not dead?

What is in store for this weekend?
[The Crow and the Butterfly / Shinedown] I'll be painting your room at midnight and putting all your books on the top shelf? :D

To describe your grandparents?
[Gunpowder and Lead / Miranda Lambert] Hell no.

How is your life going?
[You Oughta Know / Alanis Morissette] You should know, dammit, you read my blog. Seriously, though, this song has nothing to do with my life. xD

How does the world see you?
[Accidentally in Love / Counting Crows] Does it?

Will you have a happy life?
[Mamma Mia! / ABBA] It'll be exciting enough to exclaim "Mamma Mia!" at. I guess?

Do people secretly lust after you?
[Afraid / Nelly Furtado] I don't know, and I apparently should be afraid of finding out.

How can I make myself happy?
[Don't Go Breaking My Heart / Elton John] But... I don't make myself happy by other people not breaking my heart. o.o That's their choice.

What should you do with your life?
[Don't Stand So Close To Me / Sting and the Police] I'd rather not lust after schoolteachers, thank you.

Will you ever have children?
[I Don't Wanna Be In Love / Good Charlotte] I hope not.

What song would you strip to?
[There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered, Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of it Yet / Panic! at the Disco] LOL HELL YES.

If a man in a van offered you candy, what would you do?
[Afterlife / Avenged Sevenfold] I have no clue.

What does your mum think of you?
[Barbie Girl / Aqua] ... I resent that.

What is your deep dark secret?
[A Thousand Miles / Vanessa Carlton] Irony. :P Oh so 2007. (I just realized how often I mention 2007 and yet I never explain it.)

What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
[Californication / Red Hot Chili Peppers] ... I don't want to ask.

What's your personality like?
[Kiss the Girl / Ashley Tisdale] Yes, you DO see the name "Ashley Tisdale" right there. I don't see how that describes my personality, though. x.x

What's your motto?
[Snakes on a Plane (Bring It) / Cobra Starship] BRING IT, BITCH.

What do you think about often?
[Sweet Home Alabama / Lynerd Skynard] Sweet home, Alabama / where the skies are so blueee. :D

What do you want right now?
[Kerosene / Miranda Lambert] Bitch, I want to burn this place DOWN.

AND because I'm bored and I don't want to go to bed, here are ten things you probably didn't know about me:

1. I've lived in the same house nearly all of my life.
2. My main character is a prostitute.
3. I love Pringles so much because the guy on the can looks like Grandaddy Vinson (who passed away in June of 1997).
4. I've always loved "rejects", the kinds of things other people would throw away. My favorite Barbie doll was one that had olive skin and dark brown hair, so she didn't look like all the others, and she had a very literally broken arm. My favorite Ken was one with messed up hair and my favorite Kelly was one with purple splotches on her face.
5. I first started reading Harry Potter in the first grade. It took me a week to read the second book (I didn't read the first until a few years ago, actually) and I was extremely proud of myself afterwards.
6. I make graphics, but I can't do that anymore because I have no art program. :l
7. I say that I hate fairytales but in reality I've always sort of dreamed of a fairytale ending.
8. I've been unhappy at every single dance except for the seventh grade Valentine's Dance and the End of the Year Dance, because I felt like I actually looked the way I wanted to instead of the way everyone else decided I should look.
9. I am strangely proud of the freckle that is above my lip. It's weird, but I like it because it looks like Marilyn Monroe's mark. I'm just glad it's a freckle instead of a mole, though. o.o
10. I like guy clothes and when I'm in stores, I usually look around in the guy sections, but I never buy anything. I love my Converse jeans because they look like guy jeans on me because they're way too large for me.